This week I quietly observed and listened to conversations and picked up several microaggressions. The microaggressions that I observed were mainly microinsults and microinvalidations, with witnessing only one microassult.
The microassault was terrible to witness and made feel extreme empathy for my co-worker. As an Early Head Start Home Visitor we are assigned students to our caseloads as opening occur. We are currently getting our next year's caseload ready and setting up enrollments. My co-worker who is African American was assigned a child, she called to welcome them to the program and left a message for the parents to return her call so that she could set up an enrollment. The parent did call back but asked for the Family Specialist, she asked if Ms. Stacey was the "Black one" and when she was told that Ms. Stacey is African American the parent told the Family Specialist that she would not take the opening because they didn't want "one of them" coming to their home. We were mortified. The parent did not take the opening and went back on the waiting list. It was a terrible experience for my coworker and I felt at a loss of words for her. I told her my grandmother always said that "ignorance is the root of all evil".
The microinsult came when I was checking the air pressure in my tire at the gas station and a man walked over and asked if I needed help. I told him no I would be fine and thanked him and then he bent down and took the gauge from me and checked it, proceeded to tell me how much I needed, and then aired up my tire. When he handed me back my gauge he told me "now you will know it has enough air". I told him that it was really not necessary that I was capable of airing my tire and he told "oh it's no problem, I know how women are". I just shook my head and had to drive away because I did not have the time to get into the conversation with him of just what he meant by that. I definitely got the feeling that he believed because I am a woman that I was not capable of airing my own tire! I was extremely annoyed and vented about it several times during the day to friends at the man's audacity!
I noticed that it did not take much effort to find microaggressions this week, it was just a matter of listening and being aware of not only what is said but what is implied. Most people mean well and would not want to offend. I'm sure the man that aired my tire walked away feeling like he had done a very good deed that day, but the experience left me feeling annoyed and irritated.
I once read that "awareness is empowering", with awareness we can take action to change. My new awareness and understanding of microaggressions will allow me to change my actions and behaviors, which in turn hopefully is a positive role model on young children and families.
The microassault was terrible to witness and made feel extreme empathy for my co-worker. As an Early Head Start Home Visitor we are assigned students to our caseloads as opening occur. We are currently getting our next year's caseload ready and setting up enrollments. My co-worker who is African American was assigned a child, she called to welcome them to the program and left a message for the parents to return her call so that she could set up an enrollment. The parent did call back but asked for the Family Specialist, she asked if Ms. Stacey was the "Black one" and when she was told that Ms. Stacey is African American the parent told the Family Specialist that she would not take the opening because they didn't want "one of them" coming to their home. We were mortified. The parent did not take the opening and went back on the waiting list. It was a terrible experience for my coworker and I felt at a loss of words for her. I told her my grandmother always said that "ignorance is the root of all evil".
The microinsult came when I was checking the air pressure in my tire at the gas station and a man walked over and asked if I needed help. I told him no I would be fine and thanked him and then he bent down and took the gauge from me and checked it, proceeded to tell me how much I needed, and then aired up my tire. When he handed me back my gauge he told me "now you will know it has enough air". I told him that it was really not necessary that I was capable of airing my tire and he told "oh it's no problem, I know how women are". I just shook my head and had to drive away because I did not have the time to get into the conversation with him of just what he meant by that. I definitely got the feeling that he believed because I am a woman that I was not capable of airing my own tire! I was extremely annoyed and vented about it several times during the day to friends at the man's audacity!
I noticed that it did not take much effort to find microaggressions this week, it was just a matter of listening and being aware of not only what is said but what is implied. Most people mean well and would not want to offend. I'm sure the man that aired my tire walked away feeling like he had done a very good deed that day, but the experience left me feeling annoyed and irritated.
I once read that "awareness is empowering", with awareness we can take action to change. My new awareness and understanding of microaggressions will allow me to change my actions and behaviors, which in turn hopefully is a positive role model on young children and families.
TMahaney,
ReplyDeleteIsn't it horrible that microaggressions were so easy to find. It was blatant racism though with the parent and your co-worker. That was not a person being unintentional. that parent was intentional on what she was doing and saying. What a shame?
Johan,
ReplyDeleteI agree that was blatant racism. I am glad though that our company stood by my coworker and refused to let racism dictate who this family received as a home visitor.
That makes me so angry! I cannot believe he treated you in such a way just because you are a woman. I absolutely despise stereotypes! Your example reminds me of a story my mother-in-law recently shared with me. She used to work at Home Depot and when she would be giving a male customer advice, they would often times ask to speak with a male employee who would tell them the same thing she had just told them... the only difference was they wanted to hear it from a man. I wish we could spread the word about microaggression and get rid of it!
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