Communicating: Nonverbally & Verbally

For this assignment I went onto www.hulu.com to find an episode of something I had not seen or would not normally watch.  The episode I picked was Louie - Season 2, Episode 9.  I first watched this episode without sound.

By watching the body language and actions of the characters I gauged that the main character was obviously a stand-up comic.  He comes off stage and it appears he meets up with someone he is very familiar with because he smiles, hugs, and slaps the other man on the back.   It appears they are close friends.  From the flashbacks to younger version of the men in black and white I assume they have been friends for some time.

From the body language of other people who come into contact with the main character's friend it does not appear they like him very much.  One man gets up close to the friends personal space, his face looks angry and he is waving his arms.  There is another instance in a liquor store where the store clerk is obviously yelling at the friend, waving his arms, pointing at him and pointing at the door.

From their body language it appeared the main character was well liked but that the 'friend' was not.  Even toward the end of the episode it appears that the main character is mad at his friend because his face shows concern, mouth open, looks away from him, waves his arms about, points at him and shakes his head. 

After watching it with the sound on I found out I was right, it was an old friend who came to see the main character, Louie, do his stand-up routine.  They greet each other, the other man does offend others with his language and comments.  I was not really able to determine the "plot" or what was actually occurring by watching with the sound off.  However, with the sound on I learned that the man had come to say "good-bye" to his old friend because he had not been as successful as Louie and felt he had nothing left to live for in his life.  He talks about killing himself in the end which is what makes Louie so mad. 

If I had watched an episode of a show I was familiar with I think my assumptions would have been more correct because I would have had previous knowledge and experience with it, I would have created a schema and would have been familiar with relationships and characters.  My schema, or previous experience, could have given me an idea of what the plot would be and what the relationships were between characters. 

I found this exercise to be very interesting.  I was bored and found it difficult to follow the episode without the sound.  I also found myself looking closer at facial expressions, body language, and the actions and movements of the characters. 

Communicating & Collaborating in the Early Childhood Field: Personal Experience

When asked to think of someone who communicates well in a particular context the first person I thought of was our Mental Health Consultant.  For confidentiality reasons I will just refer to him as Mr. D.  Mr. D meets with us each month to discuss stresses that families on our caseloads are going through and to discusses strategies we can use to better communicate with and to assist these families.  He will also discuss how it affects us personally, especially if staff is becoming "burned out".  From the beginning I noticed that Mr. D. always looks in you the eye while you are talking, he does not interrupt, ad he will ask specific questions.  It is also apparent that he takes a minute to consider what he is going to say before giving feedback on particular situations.  He makes it obvious that he wants the whole picture before he considers what he is going to say in return.  The conversations with Mr. D. are so relaxed and informal that it makes it very easy to speak to him.  Often I find myself coming up with a solution long before he suggests it.  I'm sure this is part of his job but he never makes you feel like he is trying to influence your decisions, but rather just discussing different possibilities and perspectives. 

I definitely try to model my own communication behaviors after Mr. D.  I always try to look at people when they are speaking.  I try to indicate that I am interested in what others have to say by looking at them and responded appropriately as they talk.  My biggest downfall is wanting to jump ahead and think about what I want to say in return before they are even finished.  I don't interrupt but have definitely found myself already thinking of a response before the other person has even finished.  I also like the way that Mr. D. reflects back what the other person has said and try to do this as well to ensure that I have a clear understanding of what they are communicating.  I think that when you reflect back what the other person has said it shows them that you were truly listening and that you have a clear understanding of what they have said.  It sends the message that you respect them and value what they have to say.

Professional Hopes and Goals

Professional Hopes:

I hope that I continue to learn about the families I work with and learn more about other cultures and lifestyles.  I hope that I can make all the families and children I work with feel welcome to my classroom and program, appreciated, and included.  In addition I hope that I continue to analyze and reflect on my own biases and am able to learn and grow through this self-reflection.  I hope that all the families and children I work with feel represented, acknowledged, valued, and feel that they have a voice in my classroom.  I truly believe it is essential that children see themselves and their families represented within the classroom and program.  In the words of Maya Angelou: "We should all know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color".   I would add to that no matter what their color, sexuality, gender, age, race, or ethnicity. 

 
One goal that I would set forth for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice is to continue educating our communities, programs, and future teachers on the importance of valuing diversity.  With diversity, equity, and social justice we can build a brighter future for our world.

I would like to also thank my fellow colleagues.  It is has been a pleasure working and learning with and from each of you.  I continue to grow and learn and appreciate all of your feedback and encouragement.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

I think the earliest memory of bias, prejudice, and oppression that I have is when we lived in Germany.  I was 16 years old and me and my girlfriends went into the city to look for and buy prom dresses.  My mother is German and I am fluent in the language so I usually did the talking or asking of prices, sizes, etc.  One of my girlfriends was biracial, another was Italian with dark hair, dark eyes, and the other girl had red hair and had a very southern accent.  We went into a shop and I guess the clerk did not realize that I was with the girls and she told me in German to keep my purse close to me because there were "Americans" in the shop and they were very suspicious.  At first I was appalled and then I thought I would ask why they were suspicious.  She told me that there were two who were obviously "black" and the other one she wasn't sure about and you just never know about "those people".  I was very angry and told her your right you never know who is American and who isn't and then in English I told my girlfriends that we should leave because the shop clerk were afraid we might steal something.  The clerk was very embarrassed and tried to apologize but we walked out.  I remember I was very angry.  I also never told my girlfriends that she was only questioning the others because I felt badly for them.  I assume since I could speak the language and am very fair the clerk assumed I was German.  I felt a little guilty about not telling my girlfriends but I did not want to hurt their feelings.

I remember I spoke to my mother at length about the incident.  She told me that every nationality has individuals that are biased and prejudiced against others.  She also told me that prejudice and bias are products of fear and ignorance. 

The incident diminished equity for my girlfriends by singling them out because of their race and nationality.  In order for the incident to have a greater opportunity of equity the store clerk would have to put aside her bias and prejudices. 

I found this picture and thought it was appropriate for the topic:

We should all STOP - THINK - ACT - and RESPECT one another regardless of our differences.

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

This week I quietly observed and listened to conversations and picked up several microaggressions.  The microaggressions that I observed were mainly microinsults and microinvalidations, with witnessing only one microassult.

The microassault was terrible to witness and made feel extreme empathy for my co-worker.  As an Early Head Start Home Visitor we are assigned students to our caseloads as opening occur.  We are currently getting our next year's caseload ready and setting up enrollments.  My co-worker who is African American was assigned a child, she called to welcome them to the program and left a message for the parents to return her call so that she could set up an enrollment.  The parent did call back but asked for the Family Specialist, she asked if Ms. Stacey was the "Black one" and when she was told that Ms. Stacey is African American the parent told the Family Specialist that she would not take the opening because they didn't want "one of them" coming to their home.  We were mortified.  The parent did not take the opening and went back on the waiting list.  It was a terrible experience for my coworker and I felt at a loss of words for her.  I told her my grandmother always said that "ignorance is the root of all evil".   

The microinsult came when I was checking the air pressure in my tire at the gas station and a man walked over and asked if I needed help.  I told him no I would be fine and thanked him and then he bent down and took the gauge from me and checked it, proceeded to tell me how much I needed, and then aired up my tire.  When he handed me back my gauge he told me "now you will know it has enough  air".  I told him that it was really not necessary that I was capable of airing my tire and he told "oh it's no problem, I know how women are".  I just shook my head and had to drive away because I did not have the time to get into the conversation with him of just what he meant by that.  I definitely got the feeling that he believed because I am a woman that I was not capable of airing my own tire!  I was extremely annoyed and vented about it several times during the day to friends at the man's audacity! 

I noticed that it did not take much effort to find microaggressions this week, it was just a matter of listening and being aware of not only what is said but what is implied.  Most people mean well and would not want to offend.  I'm sure the man that aired my tire walked away feeling like he had done a very good deed that day, but the experience left me feeling annoyed and irritated. 

I once read that "awareness is empowering", with awareness we can take action to change.  My new awareness and understanding of microaggressions will allow me to change my actions and behaviors, which in turn hopefully is a positive role model on young children and families. 

Perspectives on Diversity and Culture

Perspectives on Diversity & Culture

I asked three people to define culture and diversity for me.  I found that each of them quickly and easily defined culture but had to stop and think about how they wanted to define diversity.

Person Number One:  My fellow co-worker, Christine, and an Early Head Start Home Visitor.  Christina was born and raised in rural Indiana. 

“Culture is a set of beliefs followed by a group of people. Diversity is a variety of different beliefs within one community.”

Person Number Two:  My new supervisor, Pam, Site-Manager for Head Start and Early Head Start Home-Base.  Pam is from the East Coast but has lived in rural Indiana for the past 25 years.

“Culture is the combination of your beliefs, behaviors, actions, and language that impacts the way we think and determines what we value.  Culture impacts every aspect of our lives.  Diversity is the differences between cultures and accepting these differences with respect so that we can all live and work together for a common goal.”

Person Number Three: A father on my caseload, Joyarsi.  This father is from Honduras and has lived in the United States for several years.

“Culture is one’s language, where someone is from, holidays that you celebrate, and your beliefs.  Diversity is multiple cultures in one area.”

The aspects of culture and diversity that I have studied this week that are included in these answers can be seen in the second answer in that culture touches all aspects of our lives and surface culture which is depicted in the third answer.  The definitions of diversity from the second person depicts what we have learned in our studies that diversity is acceptance and respecting differences in one another.

In the last response the parent that I interviewed only mentioned surface culture, they omitted deeper aspects of culture such as housing arrangements, values, role of children, gender roles, and how these deeper aspects impact our actions, interactions, behaviors, and the way we think and feel. 

I found this assignment insightful and was very interested in what others had to say when they were defining culture and diversity.  This assignment has influenced my own thinking and made me consider exactly what culture and diversity consist of by becoming more aware of it in my daily interactions with others.  It has also made me realize that most people define culture based on people’s beliefs and surface aspects such as holidays, language, and foods. 

My Family Culture

If I had to choose just three items to take with me and my family to a new culture they would be:

1. Our family Bible, which contains the births and deaths of several generations of our family.  This Bible was given to me by my grandmother who filled in the family tree from her Bible.  This was a tradition for my grandmother when ever one of us married.  Unfortunately, my grandmother is no longer with us, however; my mother continues the tradition.  The Bible represents not only our religion but our family history as well.
2. My family scrapbook would be the second item I would take.  I started the family scrapbook when I became pregnant with my first child.  It holds pictures, news clippings, and awards from my children as well as pictures of us on family vacations and outings.
3. My maternal grandfather's wedding ring.  This is the ring that my maternal grandmother bought for my grandfather when he returned from WWII after being a prisoner of war in Russia.  While he was a prisoner of war my grandfather lost his original wedding ring so my grandmother replaced it when he returned.  She gave it to me during one of our visits to Germany.

I would explain to others that these three items represent to me my religion, my heritage, my culture, and the one thing that is most important to me:  my family.  My family, extended and immediate, mean the world to me.  We have always all been very close and have seen each other through some very serious trials and tribulations.

If I were told that I could only keep one item I would feel very torn and heartbroken.  Out of the three items I believe I would choose my family's Bible.  I would choose this item out of the three because it does contain my family's religion, some single snapshots of family, my family's history and heritage.  I believe this item is a complete representation of my family's culture.

One of the biggest insights I gained from this assignment is how I would feel having to give up so much of my culture and family history.  I realized how sad and depressing this would be for me.  I also realized how important my heritage is to me.